I started blogging in January 2008. Writing was always a method of therapy for me and I have kept a journal since I was 10. When I found myself deep in the midst of infertility I found solace, comfort and companionship in the online, blog community of fellow infertiles. After receiving so much from reading others blogs I thought it would be great to start my own, maybe one day I could help someone like these blogs helped me.
I had no idea what I was getting into.
I was wrapped in love and support and healing. The friends I meet through blogging kept me sane, kept me from an even darker depression and ultimately in one way or another saved my life. I can put no price on that.
In August of 2008 I FINALLY became pregnant after 2 hard years. Things changed. I lost some friends/readers, and honestly I understand why. Then I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby, I lost more readers, again totally understandable. People read what they are going through. Of course I have kept many readers and are still great friends with many of you and appreciate you all more then you know.
Here's the thing. A evil thing came about with all this, I started caring too much about those numbers. My heart sank when my hits and comments sank. And with this a pressure rose. I felt I had to blog lots and be the funniest and the most entertaining to attract new readers and keep old ones. I got lost in a strange competitive blog world, when really I was only competing myself. The magic, the healing, the power of blogging was lost. I would loss sleep at night thinking of all the blogs I had to read on my reader and how far behind I was. I would stay awake planning posts and be crushed and irritated when I did not have time to publish them in my crazy day.
Sadly this blog became a source of great stress and frustration.
Something needed to change. You probably noticed I have been posting less, commenting on your blogs less or not even reading them at all. I would like to say sorry, but I can't. It was amazing! The pressure disappeared. I wasn't worried and stressed about blogging all day long and I actually started missing the joy of writing. I picked up my paper journal to fill that void and occasionally made stops here.
Paper is fine, but blogging is in my blood now. I needed a new solution though, a way to not get caught up in the numbers again. One way this is solved is my new MacBook. It is so portable I can jump on it anywhere. I have more opportunities to post now that I don't have to plan internet time with setting up Ivy in the basement near our PC.
The next solution was I needed a clean slate, a new place, a new feel. A place where I didn't feel the pressures of catering my posts to a certain audience (who ever that maybe) and a place where the posts were for me, a place where I can write what is on my heart and more true to my character.
So a new place has been created.
I warn you, it is very different from this place. It is the same me writing but a me I never expressed here often.
I invite you to join me there. I will not be posting here any longer. This site will not be shut down, as I hope it could still help someone going through the trials of infertility. But it will no longer be updated.
I want you to know I have loved all your comments, all your support and prayers and most of all your friendship. With that said you need to know I may not be commenting and checking your blogs often, it has become to hard, and I am sorry for that. I have been blessed with so many blogging friends that checking all your amazing posts became a full time job, and how do I pick and choose amongst you? I am telling you this because if you choose to no longer read my writing because I cannot read yours I understand. I wish I could devote more time to reading blogs and I promise I will try, but I don't know what that will look like.
So friends thank you. This has been an incredible journey. I will never forgot this amazing time in my life.
This is Alicia - Pieces of Me signing out.
JOIN ME HERE:
Love you all!