alicia

Birthday adventures

That was different...

I am spoiled. Putting it on there. Every year my birthday turns more into a birthday week of me getting all the things I want. I want to eat at this restaurant...DONE I want to buy this movie DONE I want to lay around all day DONE. It has been this way for a while now. So in my normal  behavior I had high expectations of a similar week. 

Ya I know, hello baby, time sucking, energy sapping doesn't care its my birthday child to handle here. 

So I woke up Friday with the surprise that Keith wasn't going into the office, but had to work from home. So many times throughout the day he was running off working and I was left with the unappreciative child not really doing any special birthday thing. The drive to Edmonton was nice after Keith's phone died so he could no longer take work calls. Once we got to Edmonton it was 6:30, Ivy's bed time. So we got the room all ready, did her routine the best we could in a different place and put her to bed in the hotel crib, which apparently was a torture chamber because the kid wailed the whole time in it. 

Keith and I watched the new Harry Potter and ate some expensive room service for my birthday dinner (not what I am used to) but I still enjoyed it. 

Then came the night from hell. Thrown back to the early new born days. Ivy did not sleep. She hated that hotel and nothing we could do would get her to sleep. So we all ended up with about 2 hours of sleep and were eating breakfast at 7. 

saturday was amazing though. We got to meet 2 new little babies, Ivy's cousins (well 2nd cousins I think, but they will be known to her as cousins). Holy crap new borns are small! I couldn't believe how light they were. I can't believe my 18 pounder was once that small! 

After a nice day we headed home after dinner. We arrived here at 9 and got Ivy to bed and I crashed. SOOO tired.

I have pics, but I haven't learned this computer well enough yet to show you them! So be patient they will come soon. 

B-day

It's my birthday! I am a whole 26 years young now. 

I am typing on my present!! Keith got me a Mac notebook!!! ahhh so in love. So I will be more on the computer now that I don't have to go all the way to the basement with a load of toys/blankets/soothers etc so much work just to say hi to all of you...but now it will be a breeze! 

We are off to Edmonton now as part 2 of my present! Be back with pics soon.

Happy Friday the 13th, the luckiest day for me ever!

I am blessed

Ahhhhh

Computer time, peaceful, non interrupted computer time. Just me and you internettes. I am hoping to keep this up now that I have a sleeping baby.

It feels like we haven't talked in a while. Life has been busy. When I update I slap up a few pictures, possibly a few complaints and a few new successes of Ivy's. But I feel an important part of this blog has been missing lately, me!

Life these days is not as I imagined it being, this is neither good nor bad, just different. I am not sure what I expected life to be like with a baby, but I know I did not expect all these emotions. Daily I am filled with an unmeasurable amount of love, I tell Ivy I love you more then there are stars, more then the grains of sand, more then all the blades of grass, but it really can't be summed up. I am often proud, when Ivy does something new or unexpected. I often frustrated, that I can't stop her crying, that there are too many tasks to do and not enough time or energy. Many feelings.

I am mostly very happy. But it is easy to forget my blessings.

I was reminded tonight. I had time to read, like really read, not just skim, your blogs tonight.

Health

As far as we know, Ivy is a completely healthy baby. The doctor has even described her as glowing healthy, she shines with healthiness.

I read some posts today about kids who aren't so healthy, who are in pain, it dosne't seem right that any child should be in pain. I am blessed

Alive

Ivy was born alive, screaming and healthy.

I was reminded today, that friends of mine, good friends, beautiful shinny people, were not as fortunate as I. That such a simple, expected part of having a baby would be taken from them, it doesn't seem right to be mothers to angels. I am blessed.

Supported

I have many life long friends, who will stand with me through thick and thin. I also have new, precious friendships with girls from my weekly baby group (we all meet in prenatal class and continually meet weekly). I also have new neighbors! They have a beautiful little boy, and are expecting their second. They have incredible values and character and have such wise, beautiful spirits. She is a stay at home mom, this is my dream come true.

I read today about a blog friend who is feeling lonely. Who doesn't have the totally essential friendships of fellow moms, and not just moms, but moms you can relate too. It doesn't seem right to be a new mom all alone out there. I am blessed.

Cherished

I have Keith. My partner for life. My shoulder, my strength, my always present love. I am told everyday that I am loved, needed and appreciated.

I read today about women who are not as lucky. Women who are alone, women who are abused, women who feel forgotten, useless and sad. It doesn't seem right that these amazing people should be without the love they want. I am blessed.

I will remember to pray for you who are hurting tonight, and I will remember to say thanks for all that I have been given.

The New Do!

Before (click to embiggen)

After!

I actually love it. It is rare I love a haircut. But I was tired of Ivy fisting handfuls of my hair, man that hurts! And I can't tell you how many times I had to wash spit up out of those long locks and it was constantly tickling her...so I chopped it off! I may even go shorter in a few weeks! But I really am loving this length. Opinions? Like? Dislike?

Nope

No this is not the post you have been waiting for.

Not even close to it.

Blah, my life is kinda uber boring and uninspiring when we are all waiting for THE post and THE labour and THE baby.

I sorta had a feeling things might be happening after leaving prenatal classes last night. I started to have this sensation in my lady bits that was kinda like a tampon falling out or something, then I had a few menstrual like cramps and a few non painful contractions, but nothing. I think she may have dropped though, I peed 8 times last night, 8. And they were big, gushy, flowy pees too! It is a full moon today, lots of babies born on full moons, keeping everything crossed! I am actually spending time speaking to the placenta, telling the little beast to start producing THE hormone, stubborn placenta is not listening!

Class went well last night. We did a mock c-section skit. It was actually super informative. We all got cards with roles we had to play, there are a lot of stinkin people in the room when you are having a c-section!

We also went through our most preferred birth situation and then slowly had to change it making it worse and worse and see how we dealt with it. It was pretty insightful actually. Keith was surprised with the things that were most important to me, and the things that were not so important to me.

Next week we start the baby classes. We are done preparing for labour, now we need to learn how to take care of these humans we have birthed. Hopefully I will have a baby for that class!

BIG ANNOUCEMENT: no my water didn't break! We are trying to save money in the Millis household, shocking you are doing the same? WOW. Ya no big news there. We are sucking at it though since this basement is eating up a lot of the extra cash flow, and since unemployment rates are at record highs my maternity benefits have not come in yet, that means we have been living without my pay for 6 freakin weeks. This is getting hard. So I am cancelling my yourevent.ca website. I don't have time to put a lot into my wedding planning business right now, and I pay $25 a month for that site, so it is gone, as of next week. How does this affect you? My e-mail will no longer be alicia@yourevent.ca! Sooo stop using IT!

New e-mail address: alicia.millis@gmail.com

If I have you as a contact on my current e-mail list you will be receiving a e-mail saying this is my new address, if you are not on the list and you all of a sudden have this desperate need to talk to me about something important, like the weird thing your dog just ate, please use the gmail account!

Thanks dudes, I am off to create the Pay it Forward crafty things for your peeps.

Maternity Photos

For my Christmas/Baby present, my best friend Hannah set up a maternity photo shoot for me. She got in contact with a photographer friend of hers and arranged for her to come to my place to take some amazing shots. We choose to get them done here as we have the perfect south facing bedroom windows, with white gauzy curtains, which was exactly the look both the photographer and I wanted for these photos.

I am 33 weeks pregnant in these shots.

Click on any of the photos to open them in there full glory!

This one Keith asked for. He thought it would look cool showing off my tat! It does look pretty hot I think!

So if this was not enough Alicia for you, there are more photos....but they are of the lesser clothes type! So if you are a regular reader, or I actually know you and you would like to see me and my girls (aka the milk machines, boobs!) send me an e-mail and I will send you the ones I really don't want displayed all over the pretty little internet.

Tissue presents

MIZZZZ me yesUm?

PareNTs PeopLE R aGAINsts Me. I aM PRIznOR in Own Homes. I HaD thE WOndERfuL BAseMent To roLL in anD PlaY in and LOVe In and Now GONES.

ThEY Shut DOOr. ThERE is SAWdust and DRywall Dust a PLEnty doWN theRe, but THey so SELFish THEY keeP all To THEMseleves.

I WANT DUSTYS TOO!

ALSo, pREtty BLue ROom theY buILd foR me UPstairS I am THinkIng reAlly is Not for Me. But FOr the LUMpy, bUMpy AnnoyINg CreATure MommY aTE. It KICks Me When I PUrr ON MamaS Tummy. Why SHE Eat CreaTUre and BuilD Room For IT?

I PLayz SNEeKing TricK on tHems Now. I Want TO be THE FavORite CreAture, Soo I deCIde To gET siCK and StaRT hAVINg liTTle BReathING ASthma attACks EacH moRNings. Mama Get SOO worRIed anD upSEt she DAsh out OF bed evEn wiTh CreaTure iN her and COmes anD CUddles Me tiLL thE breAthiNG attAckS Stop. TheN DaDDY Come Give ME pETz and TreatS and EXTRA FOOd!

SicK Plan NOw baCKfire. I go TO bAD baD evIL plaCe wherE doGS smeLLZ me And CatS SCream at ME and WeiRD Human PokE anD pROd me....the VEt....TomoRRow MorNIng. NOOOOOOOOOO!

I SO madz At mamA noW. HatE vEt. Mama SOOO Lazy shE cAN't EVEn get NEW phoTos of ME, shE jusT use OLD Lame ONes. I THink I gO On LOve StrikE. I ONly Give LOVes whEN FeeD, thAt TeaCH theM.

Ohh and SOme oF MomS SILly FriENDs aCTully LIke hER and GIVEs heR AwaRD. Mel anD BustED boTH giVE MommY ThiS:

WEIRdos.

RUlZ

The rules of the award: 
1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. 
2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. 
3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

HAha! 10 HonesT tHIngs! LeT mE dO thiS foR HEr:

1. she eats creatures

2. she loves creature more then me

3. she makes a room for the creature and kicks me out of my basement

4. she loves torturing animals by bringing them to the vet

5. she only feed me 3 times a day, which is total animal neglect

6. she calls me beasty as a nickname, like that's cute

7. she holds me by my neck scruff when I bit her ankles as she walks up the stairs, ABUSE

8. she keeps vacuuming up my hard work collecting all my hairs on the curtains

9. she brushes me with an ouchy brush called the furminanator

10. she DOES give the best cuddles, kisses and pets out of all humans I know. But I still mad at her.

NOWs thE AwaRD hAS to BE pasSEd On to 7 FRiendz. ShoCKEd she HAs 7 FriENds.

Melba, Laura, Beautiful Mess, Chantelle, Jenni, Erin and Megan

You girls rock my socks off! And Tissue's too.

Doubt

Have you heard of the 5 love languages? Apparently it is a "Christian" concept, but I think it is an amazing insight that anyone can use. Basically there are 5 different types/ways of receiving and giving love, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch (click on the link there to read more about each, it is kinda Christiany, but you can pick out the meaning of each area pretty easily).

Unfortunately for Keith he married a women who has ALL of the love languages in her. Most people have 1 or 2 strong ones, there are tests and stuff you can take to tell which one you fall into. But knowing your partners love language is such an amazing tool. It has really helped Keith’s and my marriage, as I try to remember how he appreciates being loved (words and touch) and I try to remember that those are also the way he shows me love.

The problem is I like and NEED them all! I think my order is time, gifts, words, touch then service. But this order changes, which makes me one high maintenance gal. Time and gifts are my big ones though. Keith is good at giving me time (even though it can come with some complaining sometimes!) but he forgets about the gifts one. And I am not talking surprises from Tiffany's every morning. I mean like a silly note for no reason. A coffee treat just cause he loves me. A surprise dinner out cause he knows how much I love dinner out. Just little things.

Keith does not celebrate Valentines Day. Which is fine. But I kinda like it, mostly cause I like cheesy little heart shaped gifts and chocolates. He spent the day working on the basement, and then going to a birthday party for his Grandma. I was a little hurt that there was no room for us time. I told him this and reminded him of my love language (to which he always responds, "But you have ALL of them!"). He felt bad. It wasn’t the greatest of days.

Last night he came home, told me to get dolled up and took me to the Olive Garden for dinner (I could eat their breadsticks forever). Then he took me to a play. This is huge people. The ONLY play we have ever seen together was Phantom of the Opera in London England, the day he purposed. But he knows I love the theatre and went because he knows I LOVE it. That meant sooo very much to me. It helped that the play was fantastic! It was called Doubt. It was a Pulitzer prize winning novel turned into play. We had a heated, marvelous conversation about the play on the way home. It was a perfect evening. I felt so loved, and he did it all for no other reason then to let me know that he loves me.

How did I get so lucky?

Interview

A new game is going around! Mrs.Spit got interviewed the other day by blogger Scientist Mother, who was also interviewed by someone else. I volunteered to be interviewed by Mrs.Spit. Here are the 5 very interesting questions she asked me.

 

1. You have struggled with infertility for a long time. How do you think that might affect how you parent Twinkle?

 

It's funny, Keith and I were just talking about this on our walk home the other day. I think the struggles of infertility have given us an appreciation for this child that is unimaginable. And because we have prayed, cried, and yearned for this baby for sooo long, I think it may get a tad spoiled. Oh who I am kidding, she is going to be one little princess. Not only have Keith and I waited so long, but so have our parents (first grandchild in both of Keith’s families, first and second grandchild on my side), our friends and my internet friends too (it is crazy the amount of presents you are sending her people!). So I imagine this little Twinkle will have figured out how to wrap both her parents around her finger by the time she is, ohhh 10mintues old?

 

2. You and Keith went through a difficult time when you first started dating, as a result of Keith's accident. How did that affect you as a couple?

 

Keith's accident is oddly the thing that brought us together. It is said often that there is a purpose behind tragedy. It can sometimes be very hard to believe that, but in this circumstance a purpose was defiantly found. Keith was living how most young men live, he wanted to have fun, be irresponsible and sorta be a mac daddy! And he was, he had many little followers, all who would show up at the hospital and I would have to bitch slap them out of there. (I never did that, but I wanted to!). But after escaping death, he realized how precious life was, and when he heard from everyone how this crazy blonde girl would not leave the hospital EVER, he saw for the first time the incredible love I had for him. And then I had him hooked! So this accident is what brought us together. It has effected us hugely ever since as well. Keith had to heal, which was a long hard process for him. It broke my heart to see him struggle with his permanent double vision (a thing I have NEVER heard him complain about). He also had huge challenges finding a job afterwards and the testing the lawyers and WCB put him through were hard on him mentally, physically and HUGE time consumers. Also the death of his friend and co-worker took a toll on him. But I was there for him through it all, and we are happy to report after 5 years of this crap, its over. A settlement has been reached and we are free from the tests, interviews, and painful reminders all of this brought.

 

3. If you were to design the ideal pair of shoes, what would they look like.

 

Best question ever! I sorta had a dream/business plan about this. And one day I may just pursue it. But if I could design a shoe, I would first get a mold of my foot, so that the shoe would fit like a glove and that no matter the height of the heel they would feel like my slippers when walking. They would be dark purple leather with a black, silky lace overlay. They would come to a point at the toe and curve a little upwards at the top of the foot. At this curve there would be a jewely thing, with purple, black and diamond crystals. I think a 3 inch heel would be adequate.

 

I just made that up right now, on the spot! I so want them now.

 

4. You sort of run a gig on the side, planning weddings and parties. What made you get into that business.

 

When I was about 8 or 9 years old I had fallen in love with one of my dads friends (remember I was a slut child, this should not be all that shocking), it was not meant to be though and he got engaged. We flew to Calgary for the wedding (we were living in Manitoba). I remember the outfit I wore for this wedding, a hot pink and black dress with a floral pattern on the ruffle of the skirt. I got to buy my first pair of heels for this wedding and I wore fancy little lady gloves and got a matching clutch. I was hot stuff. I sat near the front for the ceremony and had tears streaming down my face the whole time. It was the first wedding I can remember going to. I was struck with the beauty of the whole thing (also was very sad over losing my man, but that was quickly remedied by a little boy who chased me around putting ice cubes down my dress). From that moment on I began planning my wedding. Not even joking. I started watching wedding shows, buying wedding magazines and cutting out pictures and ideas and making a portfolio for items I wanted at my wedding. After 12 years of this, it was finally my turn to walk down the aisle. My wedding was perfect. Everything I imagined it would be. But it was an event 12 years in the planning, and it all ended with me balling my eyes out in a hotel hallway because what the hell was I going to do now!? Shortly after that I decided to plan other peoples weddings. I went to school to become a Professional Bridal Consultant and then started up my own business. I now have the pleasure of helping other brides get their dream wedding day into a reality. Best job ever.

 

5. What would your ideal day look like.

 

I love this question, because soon, soo soon I will actually get to live out this dream day.

 

It would start waking up with the sun pouring into my bedroom. Keith cuddled around me on one side, Tissue at my feet, and little Twinkle bundled in her bassinet right beside my head. I would pick her up and we would all just snuggle for a while. Then Keith would make us chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes and we would all watch Saturday morning cartoons (yes I do this, every weekend). Then I would get Twinkle dressed up in the cutest outift ever and I of course would be looking hot in some awesome assemble and shoes that will still fit my post pregnancy feet (please God let them fit). We would get Twinkle in her wicked cool, totally ridiculously expensive stroller and spend the day at the zoo, or a museum, or walking down 17th Ave (trendy hip ave in Calgary) being the cute, hot, young family that we are. We would stop at an amazing little place for an amazing little lunch and we would gain no weight from the calories eaten here (we are talking ideal day here!). We then would stop at a shoe store and Keith would let me buy as many pairs for Twinkle and me as we could carry. This of course would take us until dinner time where we would go to a new, trendy restaurant and have the most luxurious meal ever. We would end the day by walking by the river, holding hands and carrying our little miracle baby. Then we would get home, put Twinkle to bed in her awesome cool bassinet that attaches to the awesome cool stroller and we would all watch a movie, cuddled under a blanket, truffle popcorn and peanut m&m's nearby. After the movie we would all pass out together on our king sized bed, ready to do it all again tomorrow.

 

Ok so maybe it won't all happen exactly like this, but close!

 

So did you think this was fun!? It is my turn to interview someone now, so let me know if you would like to be interviewed in the comments and I will work up some wicked questions for you!

Parenting 101

I am addicted to a new blog. Something you should know about me and reading blogs is that I don't feel like I can just jump in when I find a new one to read. I feel like an intruder when I do that, so I will go back a little ways in the archives and learn about the person, get to know their story, before I begin commenting. If I read your blog, I have done this to you! But some blogs grab at me. They suck me in so fully I realize I am thinking about them all through out my day. For these blogs I will read ALL the archives. I think I mentioned this when I spoke about how amazing Amalah's blog is, and now I have a new blog addiction.

matt, liz and madeline

I know I am a totally creepy blog stalker, but his story has captured me. My friend Joelle introduced me to his blog and I find myself thinking about him and his daughter often, saying a little prayer for them when I can.

His story is unique, and honestly not mine to tell. It is heart breaking and almost unbelievable and almost every post has me in tears, which is awesome since I am at work when I read it. Good thing I have these sweet pregnancy hormones to blame things on!

Now if you stopped over there and read his "if you haven't been here before page" you might think it strange that I be addicted to this blog, when I myself will soon be in labor or under the c-section knife. But I find myself addicted for a different reason.

I don't know if I have grown up with this belief, or from watching people with children or maybe hollywood had a play in it, but how I envisioned parenthood, especially parenting a baby, is that the parent is no longer a person, but just a parent.

This is where some of you may hate me now! I am not saying any of you have made me think this, or what the reason is, but I honestly have thought for YEARS now, that what I am to expect about having children is that I will have to sacrifice the things that make me, me. And I was totally ok with doing that. So ok with doing that, that in Aug 2006 when we started trying to conceive I began to let go of those things that shaped me, made me me.

I used to really LOVE music. And was really involved in keeping up with new bands and seeing shows. I even played guitar and did some singing, some people even thought I was good.

I used to be super passionate about photography. I took an evening university class just to learn more about it, and I was really proud of the photos I took.

I used to paint and draw and even tried getting back into that a while ago, but it fizzled out.

There used to be so much more to me. But I thought, well I am going to be a mom, that is the goal and then life will be....just parenting?

But reading Matt's blog I have seen a style of parenting that I have rarely seen before. His circumstances are incredibly unique, I get that, but to me he demonstrates you can still be a kick ass parent and still be a kick ass person.

I honestly since becoming pregnant have kept myself up with worry trying to plan the way to best raise this baby. Thinking about routines and schedules and tools that will make me the best parent that Twinkle can have. I am realizing now that this is a huge waste of my energy.

There are many parenting styles out there, every parent I have seen is different and everyone has something that works for them. So please do not think I am criticizing any form of parenting here (except for the neglecting, abusing kind, really despise that style) I have just been alerted to a new method, a new form, a new technique that I had long ago dismissed. To me Matt seems to just be himself, but now gets to share that cool person he is with his amazing daughter and I am blown away.

Can it be that simple? I am starting to think it can be, and it gets me really really excited to start this parenting journey with Twinkle, cause there is soo much cool stuff in this world I can't wait to start sharing with her.

So thanks Matt, you have inspired me to start picking up the pieces that make me so that I can share some awesome things with my daughter, and I really think we are going to have some serious fun.

I pulled out all my old cd's and have started playing them again. It feels great.

I am making plans to turn part of my basement into a mini photography studio, with a backdrop and lights and everything. I have a sweet camera, now I want to really get some use out of it. So I took my diaper bag savings and went to the camera store this weekend, and I spent it all, every last freakin penny on a new amazing lens. A lens that is perfect for taking pictures of babies. So I may be caring around a grocery bag for a diaper bag, but I promise to get some wicked photos of all the adventures Twinkle, the grocery bag and I go on.

Man I am so excited.

(Belly shot and completed nursery pics coming this week!)