I am not sure how to start this.
My mental state leading up to this day was fluctuating. I was constantly praying, constantly reminding myself of my mantra "hours for days", constantly preparing for the event ahead.
On the night of the 14th strange things began happening. I was having shooting pains down both inner legs all the way to my feet. They would stop me dead in my tracks. A quick google search showed this was a sign of labour starting up. I went to bed at 9:30 and started VOMITING heart burn. No jokes, I was puking up stomach acid, with biley chunks.....for HOURS. Another google search showed YUP, labour is coming.
4am contractions start. They are manageable and start in my back but wrap up to my front leaving no back pain. I was encouraged.
I tried to sleep through these, because I had only fallen asleep at 2am dealing with the horrid heart burn vomit. But I just couldn't manage sleep, but I rested. The contractions came about every 10 mins.
6am I make my way downstairs. I wake up Keith and tell him this is happening. I call my mom and tell her not to go into work.
Keith and I start readying the house. Tidying up, making the shower curtain bed, setting up the pool. My mom arrives and takes over watching the girls who are up and EXCITED!
I try walking around, but am finding that everytime I am upright the contractions start in my back and stay there. They are getting stronger and closer and together, but I just want them out of my back.
I lay back on the couch and find that they seem to move towards the front when I am lying down. My mom puts a heating pack on my back and this seems to work. I lay like this for about an hour.
8am Even lying down the contractions are now stronger and sticking to my back. The pain is manageable, but I am losing confidence in myself....back labour is SOOOO bad. Keith sets up my birth board for me to look at and it helps, but I am rapidly getting more and more concerned.
Seeing my waning confidence Keith suggests calling the midwives. I am doubtful since I haven't been in labour long, but we call.
8:30am Jane (YAY one of my favs who was at Ayla's birth) arrives. We make our way to the bed to check how I am progressing. It is the first time I have stood up and the BACK pain takes over. Its horrid and I am not even having a contraction. It is just this constant, stabbing pain. But I make it to the bed.
4-5cm.
Confidence restored.
I was expecting maybe 2-3, I become kinda proud of me for getting this far without much fuss!
Jane suggests getting in the bath tub while the pool is filled up, remembering how water speeds up my labour. At this time Carmen our doula arrives and helps me in the tub. Labour picks up, but there is just not enough water in the bath to provide much comfort (we want to save the water for the pool which was being filled up in the playroom).
Carmen helps me to the bed where I can lay down and this is where her magic happens. She busts out a vibrating massaging tool and constantly rubs it around my back. Keith holds both my hands and with each contraction Carmen pushes the tool deep into my lower back while Keith holds my hands tight. I breathe in a deep breath in for 5, then out for 5 then start a low moan. We do this for an hour.
10am the pool is ready. It has taken 2 of our hot water tanks and countless pots of boiled water to fill, but its ready.
The hard part begins.
I have to stand up from my zen place on the bed where I have been coping pretty darn good with contractions and make my way downstairs. The back labour between contractions is so insane I can barely move. I sob my way over to the pool.
The girls this whole time have been out walking with my mom and are now home crafting at the dinning room table.
I get to the pool and get in.
RELIEF. intense, beautiful, wonderful relief. The pool is so nice and deep and warm my whole body can float in the goodness.
Contractions INTENSIFY, no serious, they just slam me in power. But the water is magic, and I feel almost with the first contraction in the water it is time to have a baby.
With the next contraction, just letting my body do it's thing, with no one telling me or yelling at me I begin to push. I think I hear Jane in the background say "Do you need to push?" I think they can tell because my low moan starts into a high pitched freak out!
With both girls I was happy and excited to get to the pushing stage. It feels good to be actively involved in the labour, being in control of things, getting to the awesome part of meeting this babe.
But this time, the need to push and the effectiveness of pushing in the water surprised me. Those first little pushes I tried out were so effective that instead of the normal push, see a bit a head, then the head pulls back up inside, it was push OH there's a head and YUP its staying there.
I freaked.
It hurt guys! I had like no stretching time. It was just all of a sudden head. I imagine I looked like a animal who just realizes their heads are about to be chopped off and start going manic. Jane looks me in the face and says something like "calm down, Alicia you are going to have a baby!"
I calm, sorta and just start pushing. 3 pushes and out he comes.
10:43 OUT HE COMES.
Sweet mother of pearl relief. AWE that feeling when the head comes out and out slides the body, its just AWESOME.
I scoop him out of the water.
This does more then words:
Are you crying? Because I am!
He is here. He is in my arms. I am overcome with the awesome, spectacular flood of love, awe and serious PRIDE in myself. I did it.
I DID IT.
I just keep saying "My baby, my baby, thank you Jesus, my baby."
He was not born happy! He cried and cried to be in this overwhelming unwombish world.
The girls were there for it all. The plan for them was, if they were scared or freaked my mom would take them out, but if they were interested and excited they could stay. They wanted to stay.
The umbilical cord was super short, so things got a little awkward, but Ivy got her wish, she wanted to cut the cord! Every night before bed the last few weeks she would remind me to wake her up if brother was born in the night to cut the cord.
She she was lowered into the pool and with a lot of help she was able to cut her brothers cord. It took her 4 snips and she got a little nervous when it bleed, but it was a pretty awesome moment.
Then some placenta birthing happened and I was helped up the stairs and into bed.
Let the bliss begin.
He and I were checked out, both good. He was weighed,
8lbs 8oz! Big boy!! How my small utuerus fit all that babe I am not sure. 20" long, he felt longer :)
The girls opened their gifts from brother,
And then began our life as a family of 5.
Kian's birth taught me so much, changed me so much and brought me so much.
I learned that fear and faith can't coexist and to choose faith is not always easy BUT so powerful.
I prayed for some specifics,
That labour and birth happen in daylight - check
That labour be 4 hours long - check (I think is was 5ish, the midwives would say 2 and 1/2 hours)
That it happens at home, in the pool - check
That Jane and Claire be there - check (Claire missed the birth but was there a few minutes later)
That Carmen our doula would be there and provide that extra support I needed - super check, that massage tool! WOW
And of course for a healthy, wonderful baby - check
Umm that is awesome. Faith over fear.
I had my few hours of pain and now I am living in the weeks of bliss. More on that soon. But Kian's birth was everything I asked for, which is truly incredible.
I am BLESSED. Ohh wow I am BLESSED.
Oh Kian, my little Glimmer babe, welcome to this world. We are all so happy you are here.
