I did not know what to expect at the service. I did not expect it to be in all ways a true funeral. Just a mass one, where 100's of people attended all to mourn a very personal loss.
With poems, and words and songs and a message that although early pregnancy loss can be looked over, can cause a further feeling of isolation since so many to do not believe or understand the mourning of a young, tiny babe, it was still being acknowledged here. It was beautiful.
There were also many children there. Which was good and bad. I felt awful for those couples there who had lost their only child, only to be surrounded by children on this painful day. It was also totally distracting with kids and babies crying and whining all over, but it also made it real as families were there to mourn.
Ivy was a gem, sitting with her snacks, colouring sheets and crayons. Ayla was frustrating, with her constant need to interact with other kids, to scream happy or sad, to run away in her squeaky shoes! WHO DOES that, puts squeaky shoes on their kid at a funeral...me. But really, what made it really hard and got me really unfairly upset with Ayla was that Glitter would never get to do those things. To cry and whine and walk and squeal. Her doing all that, being a baby, at Glitters service rubbed the point in my face and it was hard.
We were all given a rock with our babies name on it, and a flower to put on the grave. This was incredibly touching for me.
After the short service, we all got lead outside where a plaque had been made with all the baby's names engraved on it. The ashes of the baby's were sprinkled throughout the garden and we all got a chance to place sand in an urn and a flower in a vase in remembrance.
It was a beautiful, wonderful service. For free, from our city. I was moved by this. The care and attention they gave to these families was remarkable. They recognized this unique pain.
A light lunch followed, we just snacked a bit and went out for lunch as a family.
I like that there is a place I can visit Glitter. I like that Glitter is surrounded by other baby's taken to soon.
It was very special. I am thankful it took place.
Yesterday we celebrated one of my favorite couples! Prince William and Kate's wedding anniversary :)
What better way to celebrate then with a tea party and fancy hat making! Ivy and I crafted up some hats. Then I spent a while in the kitchen making finger sandwiches, tomato basil, smoked salmon and capers, egg salad and peanut butter and jelly! We all had our own pot of tea, even the girls and we watched their wedding while eating.
It was so much fun! Even Ivy's toys had a tea party of their own with a tea set Ivy painted.
It was a great, tasty party!
TODAY: Monday grocery shopping, even though I went to a grocery store like 4 times last week! Having parties creates lots of extra shopping...yikes. The budget again has been blown for April. We have to get better at this, May has less events, so hopefully we can keep spending more in control.
PROJECT APRIL SHINE, a success I say. This month has zoomed by. It has brought some GREAT things, a healthy new way of eating, yoga, better mood control and communication. Ivy turning 3, a place for Glitter to rest and a sense that 2012 may have started rough but good things are coming. They are.
