Urban Green Farm

a day to distract

No baby. Although I was just telling Keith I remember a while ago seeing a sign for something on May 8th and my brain said Oh you are having a baby that day! And then I was like no brain I will SOO have a baby by then....haha...h..a...h...a. So maybe today's the day? 

Yesterday we had a little running around to do, that I turned into a lot of running around to do so I could leave Tissue and the mouse locked in the house together all day. 

After picking up Tissue food, Starbucks, the Dollar Store and driving a friend home from the airport in the morning we stopped for lunch at Denny's! The girls wanted pancakes :)

We got a table with an awesome view of the city and then a view of a awesome police drama in the parking lot! A old lady accused another driver of hitting her with her car and grabbed the keys out of the drivers car! haha, the police had lots of drama to deal with and I got to watch the whole show :) 

We were still early for the midwives after lunch so we hit a park in one of the nicest neighbourhoods in the South. 

My 3 babes :) 

The midwives had nothing major to say! I'm still pregnant....they gave me a homeopathic suggestion to helps with the annoying cramps of false labour, picking those up today. They also reminded me 3rd babes are tricky! The uterus although experienced, is also a little saggy by the 3rd babe and needs more practice ie Braxton Hicks and false labour, to be in shape for labour. So all this is good, just a little annoying :)

After my appointment the girls both feel asleep in the van. I stopped and got an ice cap and then drove around neighbourhoods, house dreaming. It was nice. 

Once we got home, we were welcomed with a very proud, puffed up cat. Sitting right beside the dead mouse in the hallway. 

I stroked him and said good kitty, then quickly got rid of the body, but the girls both can't stop talking about it. 

Keith got home earlier from his conference, but was so tired and stressed he passed out! So the girls and I went for a evening walk and found a dog! I ALWAYS find animals. It wouldn't come to us, so we followed it for a while, keeping it off the streets. Finally it walked into a backyard that had a gate open. I had the girls stand guard by the gate while I talked to the house owner. Who CLEARLY saw me as I saw them in their living room and then proceeded to ignore my doorbell ringing. FINALLY they opened the door and I told them to close their gate. Got no thanks, nothing. People. 

Good day. A day I was hoping would result in babe. My fav midwife is on vacation till Monday night, so if I go overdue at least I can hope for Claire to be at the birth. 

TODAY: Chiro at 9:30. Keith has a LONG day away, so I am not sure what adventures we will go on, but I am determined to make these last days with just us girls as fun filled as possible. Also helps take my mind off the lack of labour :)

mouse house

Remember this sweetness from the other day? 

The girls checking out the new mouse family that moved into those rocks there. 

They are just SOO cute. And SOOO sweet. And don't worry cause I have a awesome cat that will keep all the BAD away......

My awesome, supremely intelligent cat, Tissue, was frolicking in the yard like he does every nice day. I had the windows open yesterday to let a nice breeze course through the house. Our house has OLD windows and most are missing their screens, no big deal, we just get more bugs in the house. 

But yesterday all these things came into chaos. 

I was lying on the couch reading a book, the girls were playing Barbies on the playroom floor (we all needed some inside time after getting a little too much sun) we were all in just underwear, it was HOT! And I watch as Tissue jumps into the playroom via the open window and I see the swishing of a long tail in his mouth before he even gets all the way inside. 

In a slow motion like moment I jump from the couch "NOOOOOO!" In my mind 2 scenarios play out:

A: Tissue lies in the middle of the playroom floor in front of the girls and proceeds to eat the mouse in a bloody, graphic display while the girls scream "GUS GUS!!!! SAVE GUS GUS!!!" 

B: Tissue drops his prize in a bloody glob on the middle of the playroom floor and struts proudly around it (he did this to me 2 summers ago, right on this floor) and the girls scream "GUS GUS!!! HE's DEAD!!!" 

So as these things play out in my mind and I run toward Tissue, scaring him, the third....WORST scenario happens. 

C: I scare Tissue so bad he drops the LIVE mouse and runs away. The LIVE mouse then runs in terror into the corner of our playroom. Right where all the girls stuffed animals are and a big chair all draped in a blanket, lots of places to hid. There's even food back there I am sure, because Tissues bowl and the girls eating table are on the level above, with an open railing to drop things back there. Perfect mousy hole. 

I stare in disbelief at it all. The girls start screaming AHHHH MOUSE. I ban them from that corner, as I don't want the diseased, frightened, probably injured mouse to bite them out of fear. 

I LOSE it at Tissue, in an embarrassing scene of swearing, kicking and throwing of the cat only to be later played out in front of me by the ever watching children. Opps. 

I text Keith, I know he is WAY to busy to answer me, but I try anyway. 

Then I do the next sensible thing and update my facebook status to get opinions on what the heck I should do. 

Useless Tissue is just lying around ignoring the whole situation. 

For the rest of the day I keep a sharp eye on that corner. I see no movement from that area. 

Keith comes home after a 15 hour day at 8:30. I tell him the whole story. He decides to go after it. He does not think that it would stay in that one corner all day, but I am sure I haven't seen it move. 

He puts on oven mitts and starts rifling through the toys and blankets, shaking each one. He picks up a soft farm house of the girls and peeks inside....out jumps the little mouse!!! He lands in the wooden cradle of stuffed toys. 

Keith grabs a bucket and Tissue. And continues looking through the toys. Useless Tissue walks away....stupid stupid cat. 

The mouse escapes and runs across the floor (and yes I am screaming and jumping on top of the coffee table! Why can I look at something and think it's so cute outside, but inside I turn into a little wimpy girl?)

For the next half hour, I stand guard while Keith tries many contraptions to trap the mouse. It runs all over the playroom. It even at one point gets trapped in a laundry basket directly where Tissue is standing and he just paws at it, it even later JUMPED ON TISSUES FACE and the moron cat just stands there. ARGH. 

Eventually we have moved every piece of furniture and toy in the playroom and have lost the little dude. 

Keith goes out for mouse traps. 

I put the room together again.

Tissue keeps poking his nose into one shelf in the playroom, we don't know if that means anything since his uselessness has been MORE then shown, but we put 2 humane mousetraps/cages with peanut butter in the playroom. 

No luck. 

Still have a mouse in the house. 

Anyone have a REAL mouser cat we can borrow? 

Yes we are all so cute...

But you are still totally USELESS Tissue cat. Disappointed. 

TODAY: BABY WHERE ARE YOU!?! OK I am trying to be chill, but seriously the amount of false labour I am dealing with is LAME and no baby. Breathe. Picking up a friend from the airport this am, totally thought I would not be able to do this due to holding a BABY....then midwives this aft. Just go into labour already, although the midwives may not like the creepy idea of homebirth with a mouse watching! HAHA

breathe in the moment

Breathe. 

It's easier to breathe during this waiting game when I have such a spectacular family. We celebrated us last night and had a date night as a family. Ayla and I had a really late nap after seeing the dentist (the girls did AMAZING, they both let him poke in their mouths, Ivy has a cavity!!! :I ick parent fail. So she has to go back to get a filling) so after our late wake up I thought we could all stay up late, so we went to a movie!!! 

Ivy has been to a movie when she was a baby, to one of those stroller and star showings, but both girls have never been to a theatre for a whole movie. 

Ayla rocking her own style....what a kid. 

We splurged a bit on this special night and got the girls each their own kids snack tray, with juice, popcorn and a treat! Keith and I split a popcorn and treat :) 

We saw The Croods! 

Amazing, AMAZING movie. Seriously, just so awesome. I cried, laughed out loud till my tummy hurt and just loved the message. The girls did amazing. They sat entranced by the whole thing. Ayla would sit in her sit and then go back and forth between cuddles with Keith and I. So special. So so special. 

One of my favorite nights of the year. Just breathing in my family of now and how crazy awesome we are. Gosh I love us. 

TODAY: Good, no GREAT day ahead!! Chiro at 9:30, birthday party for Ivy's bestest buddy right after, then naps while I clean!! Then party!!! I am having all the ladies in my life over for pedi's, mani's, henna, jewellery, wine, chocolate and fun!! It is going to be so awesome. If you want to come, COME! I can't wait. I will be showing off my painted belly, which is just so beautiful, love looking at it. YAY today!! 

THIS WEEKEND: Saturday we have another friend's birthday to celebrate with a princess tea party! Ohh Ivy is going to LOVE it. Sunday Keith's big convention starts....baby REALLY REALLY cannot make an appearance Sunday night or Monday morning, it is the time Keith HAS HAS to be there....guess what's going to happen? Either contractions start during the party tonight or Sunday night, just watch, drama is this kids game after all! 

Happy Weekend All! 

waiting game

Waiting can be no fun, but there is a lot of good in waiting too! In these last days before Glimmer is born will be the last days we are a family of 4 (or 7 if you count all our pets :) ), so I am choosing to use these last few days to absorb and soak in all the now my family is! 

(the girls are checking out our other new animal friends, a mouse family! They are SOOO cute, but yes I know unhealthy, pantry eating, pooing little dudes. We have a very fat, mouse eating cat who will keep them from getting inside....which is bittersweet, because they are SOOO cute). 

These wonderful girls of mine are headed for a whirlwind of change. Especially Ayla. She knows a baby is coming, but she doesn't get that this baby will be staying, taking a lot of mama's time. She was a very attached, mama's girl...which I loved. But I knew I had to severe that a bit. Haha I just wasn't prepared for how well it would work! She defiantly is a Daddy's girl now, always seeking him out, wanting him, crying for him. It's good.....it really is. AHH I just miss my little snuggle pie Ayla, soon I will have a baby that will need constant cuddles I know. 

Ivy I think will do much better with the change. She's been through this before. And she is a natural in all things big sister. But it will make her grow up that much more, she will change...in a good way I am sure, but she won't be the same Ivy she is today! 

AWE I am so lucky to have such 2 amazing, sweet little girls. I want them to LOVE their life, love being in the family, love each other and their new baby brother. I want them to be happy. So these last days we will spend together, doing special things, making the most of this waiting game. 

TODAY: A trip to Superstore this morning and a trip to the dentist this aft, over nap time :I yikes that will be all kinds of messy and not so special, but it's a necessary thing to get off the checklist pre babe! 

fish for tea

ARGH whole post just deleted. I feel like crying. Maybe I am. 

Yesterday was really awesome. These last 2 weeks of pregnancy have really improved with the bursts of nesting energy I have been receiving. I am able to actually get things done. It is nice to have a little ME back. Keith and I have even got in a good routine of tidying up the house each evening, so that I go to bed with a sense of peace and wake up to a happy place. 

Yesterday the energy hit early and the girls and I were out by 9, hitting Starbucks and then picking up a used Ergo carrier for a sweet deal! I have lots of slings, but I wanted one with more padding and the backpack option for older, spicy Ayla! This one should do the trick, because little mister here is going to be in a sling for a lot of his baby life I predict. 

After I scored on the sling, we had some time to kill. A pet store was near by. The one cat they had was being lame and so we ended up in the fish aisle, talking to the fish expert, dreaming of fish pet happiness....

I couldn't leave them there! 

Ivy picked pink rocks, a purple flower and a pink fish with rainbow fins. Her name is (he is a he) Rainbow Goldie Princess Flower or Rainbow for short. 

Ayla picked awesome decorations and a bold, bright, red, feisty, spicy fish named Goldie Fishie. He is my favorite. 

They are Betta Fish, the only kind pet stores will let you keep in a bowl these days. Apparently gold fish need aquariums as even the smallest ones are meant to grow over a foot long and squishing them in a bowl they will sense their environment, keep their bodies small, but their insides keep growing and kinda explode! Sad. No more gold fish bowls. 

The girls and I LOVE them. I have had fish growing up, and I liked them, but these little ones I really love. Watching them swim so peacefully is so calming, so beautiful. The girls are mesmerized by them and have become so protective, screaming at Tissue to back away, he has gotten sprayed with water a few times for being too curious. It is magical watching them bond to these little fish. 

If getting a pet wasn't enough excitement for one day we decided to craft up a storm with the fish (they are on our dinning room table, which we also use as a craft table). 

We made hats to celebrate Prince William and Kate's 2nd wedding anniversary, because you can't attend a English wedding without hats! We also had ourselves a tea party, Keith's Grandma even joined us for hat making and tea, and she has had tea with the Queen in Buckingham Palace, so she's a good person to have around for a fake royal tea party. 

After tea I tried to nap with Ayla, but a storm hit and the wind was blowing so hard and knocking our gate I gave up. I came down and Ivy and I flipped through the royal wedding magazine and watched the fish. 

Great day. 

I imagine much of today will be spent watching our newest family members, they are just so NEAT!

TODAY: Midwives later, fish watching now. No baby yet :) Although last night I had some pretty convincing false labour stuff start up....nothing happened, but my body is getting ready. Glimmer today is your last day to claim a diamond as your birth stone...think about it. 

Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate

What an amazing FULL FULL weekend. 

Friday was all about Ivy, her 4th birthday. Keith even took the day off to celebrate her. 

She woke up and opened her presents. Loving every moment of it. Then we had chocolate chip pancakes. Got dressed, Ivy in a princess dress of course and headed to the mall. 

Ivy got to actually RIDE all the rides she wanted, not just sit in them. The girls also played on a floor projected sensor game for 30mins while we waited for the mall to open. It was amazing though, they had SO MUCH FUN running on that floor playing all the fun games. 

Keith also helped them play the rifle game at Pro Bass Shop. If you hit certain targets animals come and and do things, they LOVED it. 

Then the whole purpose of the mall, the Disney Store. Ivy got to pick ANYTHING she wanted from the store. She had been surfing the Disney Store web-site for a whole month planning this shopping trip. She had looked at everything online and picked something out. Watching her wander the store, ponder each amazing thing was so cute, it was neat to see her come to the same toy she had picked out on line! A minnie mouse pet shop set. 

Then we had lunch at BP's and some marble slab blue ice cream! Great morning. 

Ivy and Keith spent the afternoon outside, she built a ice cream stand in her playhouse. Ayla joined them after nap and they all stayed out there till dinner time. 

Ivy wanted cheese for dinner when I asked her. So we had cheese fondue! Dipping all kinds of awesome things into cheese, has to be one of the greatest dinners ever. 

Then we did something super special, my favorite time of the day, we watched Cinderella together as a family! Ivy has never seen most of the Disney princess movies, despite her obsession. She was over the moon thrilled. 

Watching her reactions and emotions to the show was amazing. It was like real magic was in the air. She was soooo happy. 

We also had a mini ice cream cake and sang Happy Birthday. 

Her last present of the day was a new bedtime! She now gets to stay up till 8, but can no longer come downstairs 3 times each night. She gladly exchanged the 2 and is learning to read the clock through this process too. 

It was a awesome, awesome day. 

Saturday we celebrated 2 friends and their birthdays. One at the park, one at our friends house. It was a great day of friends. 

Sunday we celebrated our friends family as they dedicated their sweet babe at their church and then Ivy got ANOTHER b-day party, combined with my mom at my parents house. We had a fantastic meal, hung our with family and friends and Ivy BLEW my mind in amazingness when she opened her gifts. She read all the cards first, stopped opening a present when she realized she missed a card, said thank you for each gift and shared one of her presents with her spicy, tantrum throwing sister. She was a ball of gift opening angel and it was one of those moments where you are floored with pride...it was amazing. 

AMAZING. What a weekend. Can't believe all the love, celebrating and awesome we squeezed in. 

Obviously no baby, that would have just been TOO much awesome. 

But the awesome does not stop, just because the weekend does. 

TODAY: Today is my mom's birthday, Happy birthday sweet mama. But it is also Prince William and Kate's 2nd wedding anniversary!!! We are crafting hats and making tiny tea sandwiches this morning to have a spectacular tea party for lunch while watching some wedding footage. It's going to rock. Also squeezing in a visit from Great Grandma and picking up a new sling this morning a friend SCORED for me. Another freakin good day of happy. 

Why?

Apparently after giving birth to Ayla I mentioned to many people that I would never do a home birth again. Which is funny, because I never remember saying this to anyone, but a few different people have said I said this to them. 

I get why I would say that. Especially if they asked while the memory was still fresh. I have NEVER experienced pain like that, I didn't know a human could survive that kind of pain. 

So why the heck would I CHOOSE to go through it again? 

I am not against epidurals, morphine and c-sections. I am really not. I am actually incredibly grateful and thankful we live in a place where modern medicine has saved countless lives in childbirth. And I know the power, and incredible awesomeness an epidural can provide! With Ivy's labour I got so over excited by those first contractions, and instead of trying to rest, trying to ignore them, I obsessed over every single one...leaving me with a 44 hour early labour, over feeling each contraction, not sleeping, exhausting my body. The epidural is what gave me a moments rest, a moment pain free and in just a few minutes that epidural rested me enough to take me from 4cm to 9cm! Defiantly what I needed. 

Ok, so know I sound more crazy, I know the awesome of epidural and I know the awful pain of home birth and I am still choosing home birth?? 

Ya. 

When I planned on a home birth with Ayla, I didn't know what to expect. I knew labour would be shorter, it almost always is with subsequent pregnancies. I knew it would be painful, but I was hoping back labour was a Ivy only thing!! And midwives, homebirth, using water as a pain relief, not having the stress of leaving (and being kicked out of) for the hospital. All of it was new, unknown, exciting and it gave me confidence. 

This time I know. 

I still have my hopes set on a few things, a chiropractor who says she can prevent back labour, a doula to help me stay away from hysterics, a rented HUGE pool with way more room to move and provide more relief, a third baby, therefore an even more experienced uterus and hopefully a shorter labour. These changes are giving me hope I will cope better. 

But I still know. 

I know the extreme, intense, all consuming pain. It takes you from normal me to a primal, animalistic me that takes over and does the only thing it can to survive the pain, moaning, screaming, swaying. I think we don't remember the exacts of childbirth because we are so often transformed to this primal us, a us we are not often exposed to.

But the moment Ayla's head was out, when the pain finally stopped and I meet this beautiful baby a magic happened. 

I am not going to be able to put words to this magic well, but I will try. It was like everything sparkled. I was holding my sweet baby and I was already in my bed at my HOME. Home is such a huge priority for me, how it looks, feels, the atmosphere of home where I spend SOO much time. I know it does not hold priority like this for everyone, but it is so important to me. So to be in this place, my home, full of the comfort, joy and beauty I work hard to make sure exist here, to be here with this new baby is blissful, magical, incredible. I could just cozy into my nest and know I could stay there for the next 3 days learning Ayla, bonding, memorizing every detail of these fast moving, precious newborn days. 

With Ivy, it was so different. Born in a place so unfamiliar, so cold and comfortless. Being left in a room alone over night while I bleed everywhere and no one cared. While my baby screamed and I had no idea what to do. A place where I just felt separated from me, from Ivy, from my supports. I came home and tried to get into a nest, but something was off. I became quickly consumed from the baby blues and even dappled into postpartum depression. I was a mess, for a long time. I do not think having a hospital birth is solely to blame for this. There was a lot that created this awful situation. 

But with Ayla. I had very little blues. I felt I was in a blissful time warp in my bed nest. It was just magical. I know that having a home birth can't take all the credit for this experience, there was a lot that created this magic. 

Experiencing a sort of dark horror and a blissful magic for weeks after birth, which would you choose? Which would you try to recreate? 

Yes one takes HOURS of horrific pain, and one takes HOURS of pain free ease, but when we are talking hours compared to weeks....there is no debate for me, no thinking. 

Home birth it is. 

Now saying this I know plans can change. I have very little control over things. Like Glimmers heart arrhythmia, like poo in the amniotic fluid, like hemorrhaging, like all these situations where a hospital is needed. Like I said, I am so grateful for hospitals and the life saving stuff they provide. I may end up in a hospital to give birth, which is OK. Because like I said it was not JUST home birth that created that magical bliss, there was a lot at work and I hope to find the other tools to try my best to recreate the magic once home. And if an emergency of any kind happens, the magic will happen when I am grateful and blessed that baby is alive and so am I. 

But I am still going to try as best I can to recreate the blissful magic I know can exist. 

Does that make sense? Did I explain that well? It is hard to write accurately about something that is so deeply personal and profound for me. I hope I wrote this well. 

TODAY: Playdate! Nothing like coffee, friends and giggles to take away the grey from a day. 

weekend joys

Feeling pretty happy after a really good weekend. Despite all the snow, despite the severe lack of sleep (seriously only slept from 3-7 last night) despite the growing list of complaints in the extreme uncomfortable department, despite it ALL we had a really great weekend. 

Breakfast and Ikea with my mom on Friday. Awesome spread of mennonite and REAL Chinese food on Friday night at my parents house with Hannah's family. 

Saturday we braved the brutally cold weather and went to a garden show at Spruce Meadows (far far south from us). It was fun to see the garden displays and the kids enjoyed all the people and commotion of it all. 

Some very blurry photos, even some of Keith's finger, of the girls playing in the kids section. 

After the show we were hungry and since we were all the way south we hit the newly opened IHOP (don't have them here in Canada until recently!) 

Then home for naps, bath and bed. 

Sunday we cleaned up the place a bit before church, did the church thing where Ayla STAYED in her class!! I prepped her for it a little each day this week. Telling her school is fun, there's craft and snack and toys and friends! Ivy even helped convincing her school was fun. We walked Ivy to her class first, where Ivy cried because she was gong to miss Ayla (heart broke a little there, so cute) then Ayla walked right into her class, no issues. She stayed almost the whole time, but someone needed to take her for a cuddle walk to keep her happy. YAY AYLA! After church we did some more cleaning, naps and movie night with popcorn. I also finished all the baby announcements (minus the pics and info on the baby of course). 

Good weekend. 

Of course Monday has to start with a BIG suck, after a lame sleep a coffee and some blogging was such a great idea. Until the ENTIRE cup of coffee danced out of my hands in an epic splash ALL OVER THE CARPET. 

argh

Coffee stains do not come out of carpet. Now in the market for that spot cleaning carpet machine thing. So frustrating. 

TODAY: Shopping for Ivy's princess party supplies! Her party with friends is this Saturday. She's SOO excited. 

photo bomb

WOW did nesting kick in. Yesterday, feeling bored, I decided to organize just a few things.....which ends up with the whole house getting ripped apart and organized and then cleaned too. 

Worked WAY too hard. Could not even nap. Then of course could not sleep last night....so tired. 

But we are READY for babe. I will take you on a photo tour tomorrow of this readied place. 

Today I will photo bomb you with the pics I finally got off my camera! 

First off, Keith's homemade beer! This is the first one (pretty much, there were some sample if ready yet ones opened, but this is the first good one). I even had a small sip. I don't like beer, but I thought this was pretty good. Everyone who drinks it seems to like it! Yay Keith and his new hobby. He has 2 more batches going in the basement. 

Our annual backyard guests arrived. PRAIRIE CHICKENS! Love them. They are just so cute. Wish they would stay in our yard more often. 

The girls and their Easter Egg Hunting surprises. Ayla everyday asks where the Easter Bunny is. Haha. 

AND a 35 week belly shot. Comparison shot up in Belly Bump Gallery. I defiantly think this is my smallest belly, also a really pointy one! I think it's funny though in all 3 pics my face is the same, TIRED and DONE. Ohh pregnancy. 

TODAY: We were supposed to be seeing the midwives this aft for my now weekly appointments. BUT everyone decided last night and today was a good day to have a baby, so all 4 midwives on my team have been called to births. Which has never happened. So they sent out a e-mail saying if they can't find someone to cover clinic today all appointments will be canceled. SOO we don't know what we are doing today. Cleaning a bouncy chair seat cover because some silly cat peed on it!? 

bored

This weekend was, boring. Life is kinda boring right now. We are healthy, so that's good, but I feel ike I am just hanging around....waiting. It is also SNOWING so spring doesn't even feel close, making our whole household grumpy. 

Stuck in the grumpy, pregnant, blahs. 

I need some energy, some sunshine and some baby birthing to happen. Until then, I am afraid things may exude boring. Sorry. 

(did I share this one already? don't remember. Oh well, all my favorite people :) )

TODAY: Heading to Walmart. I have just a few things left on my pre baby need list and I wanted to get the girls some new markers and colouring books to keep them happy on another stuck inside snowy day.

boring