I am sorry for all the silence lately.
Writers block, a lot on my mind, the mundane of daily (that I am actually enjoying) but does not produce much to share.
Resentment blocks are easy to build up against those we love, especially our spouses, but they can also build up against anything really.
I was noticing the build up of bricks around the mundane a few months back. My life is fairly predictable, the routine of kids, the sameness of our schedule, the lack of excitement, slowly I was getting a little bitter about it all. But it was stealthy, like resentment bricks so often are, and I didn't notice them piling, not until I took note of my thoughts during the day. I know when my thoughts go silently negative, they are like background thoughts, not thoughts I am trying to think, just ones that sneak in, that bricks are building.
I took time to examine them.
I love change, spontaneity, newness, adventure and excitement. Life as a stay at home mom can seem void of those things.
Time to illuminate.
While raising these kids day in and day out is not easy, it is exactly what I want to be doing. And the daily can seem so boring, if my perspective on it is negative, but really it is an adventure.
Because the general idea of the day may be pretty much the same, wake, feed, nap, play, feed, nap, play, feed, ready for bed, bedtime, me time. The excitement comes in what the imaginations of these littles will produce. Making books, towers, learning something new and watching them get it, Kian mastering something new, a visit with a friend, another page of a book read, another sunrise to bask in, another project to dream and possibly conquer. And of course the drama that they provide, fights and meltdowns and crying that all mostly end with cuddles.
Not easy, sometimes down right exhausting when their bedtime cannot come fast enough, but I know, I KNOW, I will miss these days. And 10 year from now me is screaming "Alicia stop those bricks, as hard as it is these moments are pretty awesome. You got some awesome ones to look forward too as well, but don't rush time, don't bitter yourself against the daily. Because no matter what you were doing in life, if it was working, traveling, anything, there is mundaness in everything, learn to embrace it." Good advice me.
Hello daily routine, what adventure do you have in store for us today?
TODAY: Kian got his shots yesterday, so he isn't in the best spirits and unbelievably we are sick again. Ivy caught some sort of snotty nose, coughing illness and now we all are feeling stuffed up and sore throatish. So annoying. Sick kids are just so much harder. But the sun is shining bright on my back, a little sickness won't keep us from trying to have a good day, I can try right!?