Urban Green Farm

truths

I defiantly think it's time for another Fly on the Wall post over here! I need more volunteers friends! Let me know if you are interested in documenting part of your day and telling us all what your day shapes up to be! Check in here tomorrow to see the Fly on the Wall, Millis Family Afternoon. 

I feel I need to do another one of these, because I sometimes wonder, am I the only mom struggling through this? Is this what all kids do? And the biggest question of all, and why I really want some visitor fly posts, can I do all this with even MORE kids? 

There are moments, when the day is going REALLY bad where I question my desire for more children, even in a really BAD BAD parenting moment I have shouted at Ayla or Ivy "It's this kind of behaviour that is going to keep us from having another baby!" Wow, that is really super special, like really that's just mean! Ivy wants another baby so bad, and I can tell Ayla would be incredible with one, and their actions have nothing to do with more babies or not, it's whether Keith and I can handle their behaviours plus more from other kids! 

But, even during those bad days, those bad moments, I honestly still have a desire for more children. And I do think I can handle it. Pregnancy is hard, labour is HARD, the first year of life is hard, but there is SOO much more then those first challenging years and I don't want to skip out not having more babes because of those challenges. 

We had a special day yesterday and as strange as it was I ended up being very proud of myself and my children. A friend took us to Costco and normally my kids are superstars in the grocery store, I have NEVER had a issue. Ayla loves watching people, so she is always entertained and right when we get into the store Ivy gets a small toy, box of crayons, stickers, colouring book, bubbles or a book, something small in price, and she gets to hang onto it through out the trip. If she misbehaves or doesn't listen she loses her prize. I have NEVER had to take a toy away. This method always works for her, because gifts are her love language. But yesterday....oh yesterday. Ayla feel asleep as we pulled into the parking lot, I tried to transfer her sleepy self to the sling, but no luck. So she was a GRUMP. Ivy even was mopping and whiny about the whole thing! I ended up carrying IVY in the sling for a good chunk of time. And then Ayla lost her marbles. She thrashed and screamed and freaked the freak out. 

If I was alone the cart full of groceries would have been abandoned. Luckily my friend was there to push the cart and keep Ivy near us, while I held the thrasher. But even with Ayla' s meltdown and ear drum breaking levels we kept shopping. And I wasn't even mad, or losing my cool. I was just embracing the awkward moment and brushed peoples glances off with a reminder to myself that dude you were all babies once too. I felt bad for Ayla, I put her in this hard place. She was tired. And I pushed her nap time for my schedule, something I do a lot to her! I hate one nap. Finally she passed out in my arms and I truly just felt warm happy thoughts about my girls. I am a lucky women. 

After this you think I would head home and never leave. But Ayla was still sleeping, so we drove around and she woke up just as I was at the Superstore. I needed a few more items Costco didn't have, so back to grocery land we went. And they did AMAZING! They were better then good, they were sweet and giggling and I was like OH YA I can have more. 

Any secrets about having a large family? Any tips you can share? 

TODAY: Taking pics of all our afternoon moments to share with you tomorrow! Could be amazing, could be crazy, we just won't know till later! 

sand

Since this post last year I knew we needed sand. 

Watching Ivy play with the sand near the water was just incredible. She could have done it all day. She got lost in her world, just the sand, a bucket and some water. Almost immediately after that trip I bought a cheap sand box. But it became cold out and it was used but not much. 

This year however, wow. Before we even get breakfast on the table I catch Ivy outside, in the sand. As soon as we head outside the first place both girls go is that sand box. They will sit there, in the sand,TOGETHER for hours. They play so well with each other there. They share, they laugh. 

They spent an equal amount of time reaching into the kiddie pool, never going in, but putting their toy cups, tea pots, buckets and shovels in it and moving the water to some other location. 

They love our yard, which makes me love it. While they played so blissfully yesterday afternoon I feel asleep on the grass and didn't wake to a horror of a sand fight, or bleeding body parts, but just the girls in the sand box. 

These kids belong outside. In the sand, near the water. Even if the sand is from a box and the water from the pool (not ideal, a beach near a river or lake would be ideal hee hee). 

Yesterday we headed to Allen Bill Pond, one of my most favorite places, only 40mins from here. It is a huge fish filled lake, with a rocky shore surrounding it, with a huge rushing river near by. There isn't really sand, so Ayla wasn't too excited about it, but Ivy loved throwing rocks into the water and digging in the dirt.

I love seeing these kids near water. I can't wait to get to Sylvan Lake again, spend some days on the only beach we have here. Until then the kids will enjoy MANY moments of sand in the back yard. And it doesn't even bug me having to put the kids in the kitchen sink and soak them down every time they want to go back in the house and then a few minutes later I catch them deep in the sand again. But it's hard to get upset about something that brings them so much joy. 

TODAY: Bird sanctuary?, Bowness park?, backyard play? all or one? Whatever today brings we will be in the sun. Keith works super late tonight, so maybe we will have to have a adventure picnic dinner somewhere. Ohh this day sounds fun! 

kites and chocolate

Flying their first kite. 

One of those childhood musts.

It was so special seeing Ivy run pulling her kite. She got it stuck in many trees, but she loved seeing it fly. Even Ayla had a little moment flying it

This is a moment I want to remember. So it is being written here.

Thank you all for your lovely words and support. We are working on ways to get me to yoga at least once a week.

And now a recipe! Wondering how I could possibly go without coffee? This is how,

SIlk Chocolate milk! You can use any kind of chocolate milk, or regular milk if you add chocolate shavings.

Heat milk in a saucepan with ripped up mint leaves. Heat up until it is steaming and hot.

Grind up hazelnuts. You can use a food processor, blender, coffee grinder of a magic bullet thing to grind them.

I have a frother, so I can make some chocolate foam to top the drink! But this is not a needed step.

Strain mint from chocolate.

Fill cup with hot chocolate. Top with foam and chopped hazelnuts. And there you have it, mint hazelnut hot chocolate. Dairy free! and soo delicious, even the girls gobble it down.

Not so hard to give up coffee when you can wake to this. Sadly I am out of silk today :( Going to try a vanilla almond milk experiment this am!

TODAY:

Two stuffed up littles. I AM NOT SICK! YUPPEE! Project health smoothies are to thank for that. But my littles are a little off. We will be hanging low, with movies and honey water and cuddles galore.                               

her day

Happy Birthday Ivy. 

As you can see we had a fabulous day celebrating her. Food, zoo, more food, friends, more food, PRESENTS, cake, balloons. Awesome day, for a awesome girl. 

(not watermaking photos today, WAY too many, just ask if you want to use) 

TODAY: Ivy is having a craft day with all the awesome crafting tools she got. Just plan on taking it easy, hanging out inside. Playing with all these new things. Dealing with some special kids today as well, they both had too much fun and sugar yesterday :) 

This weekend will be fun and hard. Glitters service is tomorrow. I don't know what to expect, but I will have a post about it on Monday. It is also my moms birthday celebration and Prince William and Kate's 1 year anniversary!!! We are having a tea party with fancy hats, pics will be taken. Happy weekend! 

3

Tomorrow Ivy turns 3. 

This feels like a moment ago. Infertility feels like a moment ago. The moment after sitting at our friends dinning room table, deciding to start trying for a baby feels like moments ago. 

And now we are in the moment with a 3 year old! 

One with lots of character, spunk and fun loving personality. Tomorrow we have LOTS of plans to celebrate our sweet girls day. I will be taking the day off blogging, so I thought I would share some Ivy love here today.

Ivy taught us so so much. Being the first child she was a ginny pig of sorts, with us trying out parenting ideas on her! Luckily I think we are naturals at this :) Ivy has grown into a fascinating, wonderful girl. Of course we have all heard of the annoying phrase, the terrible twos, well I can tell you they never happened! Of course they didn't! We wouldn't let some phrase, some generalization shape Ivy's second year. Instead she blew us away with her awesomeness!

She has had to learn SOO much, and they few tantrums and episodes she has had are clearly times when she is learning something and can't process it. But with enough patience she gets through it and learns something new. Like being a big sister, like getting over some shyness, like the rules of the house (no colouring on anything but paper!). I am not saying we didn't scream, or send her to time out, or have horrible moments. But they were just moments and we all learned from them.

Ivy is a little mother hen, she loves to be the mom to Ayla, to friends, to all her toys! She is pretty good at it to. She has come leaps and bounds in sharing! She is understanding delayed gratification. She is a pro at making good choices. She knows all about being safe. She has her own special breathing technique to calm herself down. She is wise beyond her years.

Ivy you are quite amazing. You impress me and have me laughing in tears all the time. Your energy and fierce love are contagious and I thank you for letting me be your mom. I am honoured to be loved by you. You are my treasure.

TODAY: The girls get some Grandma time while I do some last minute birthday errands! Then I seriously have to clean this place, I think all the family coming over tomorrow would be a little leary walking on crumby, dirt filled floors with sticky spills and dirty underwear strewn everywhere. AHH birthday tomorrow! Can't wait, Ivy is going to FREAK out, so much goodness in store for her little self.  

projects

Monday was a day well used. A burst of energy and motivation cursed through me and I used it to it's full potential. 

Pics are with the iphone, they all kinda are blurred! Sorry. This is Ayla's new looking room. Notice something missing? YES THE CRIB! If ever I could undue a purchase, it would be the crib. It is huge and annoying and Ayla would throw her soothers all over the room at night and wake up CONSTANTLY not being able to find it. This became quite annoying. But we noticed she slept more at other peoples houses and on vacation, the reason? Playpen. The soothers could not fall out. So up went the playpen and out went the crib and for 2 nights now she has slept through the night. YES! 

coldplay

I kept the crib mattress in there. It is now a fun space Ivy and Ayla play on, jumping and screaming and since one day Ayla will be in a bed on the floor, maybe seeing it in her room all the time will get her used to it? haha who knows!?! 

coldplay

What's this? Another badly lit room? Why yes! This is our HUGE workshop on the lower level of our basement (we live in a 5 level split, ya its crazy! 2 levels of basement one being finished). This space just held tools and musical instruments and randomness all scattered all over the place. Keith used it sometimes to lift weights and I thought, why not turn it into a hot yoga studio! So I cleaned it up, organized this AND the storage room! WOW a lot of work. And then set up a new yoga mat and some chairs and towels. I tried it out, turning on 2 heaters and a humidifier and blew the breaker! OPPS! So it is a one heater room, which makes for cold yoga because the concrete floor is freezing! But at least I have my own space to practice a little everyday. I still plan on going to studios though, trying them all out for cheap! 

coldplay

It's even lemongrass scented like the real places! I just bring my computer down and pop in the old yoga dvd I own. I am going to look for another one, with more of a workout in mind. Any suggestions?

coldplay

YUP a wall. 

coldplay

YAY another wall! A badly tan coloured wall. But look close! See it? It's CLEAN! My 2 kids got a hold of crayons and pens and on every stinkin wall in this house drew on them!!! Keith and I were reading and being lazy parents. So with A LOT of toothpaste and A LOT of baking soda I scrubbed till my elbows ached and got it all off the walls. Ivy had to help as punishment, but she had fun the whole time. 

coldplay

That was ALL on Monday. Good day. 

BEFORE haircut

coldplay

AFTER haircut! Not much difference no. But she got those bangs trimmed and she said she wanted it to stay long, so this is the look she got! I like it. Ayla got some GOOD baby clips to keep her bangs out of her eyes, so we didn't need to get hers cut yet. 

coldplay

I also made this! Hand scrub. It makes your hands softer then anything ever ever ever. If I know you and you are having an occasion which requires a present you will be getting this. 

coldplay

So nice. Recipe here. But don't make it. I will for you :) 

coldplay

TODAY: COLDPLAY! What you guessed that, really? We see Coldplay live in concert TONIGHT! AHHHH. This is something on my bucket list, to see them live. YAY YAY YAY! Also playdate with a lovely amazing buddy who is leaving all summer! WAH, sad about this. Good thing there is Coldplay to cheer me up. 

in the plans

Happy Easter everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend if you celebrated or not :) 

 

Easter was a celebration for us! For many reasons. The obvious chocolate feast one, the religious significance of this time AND the last weekend of unhealth. 

We are embarking on a change. Again. 

After some research, a friends inspiring visit and more research, documentary watching and blog reading we are now focusing on DIET to make some health changes. 

I am SICK of these tingles, of constantly having a cold, of not feeling HEALTHY! What I have read has lead me to believe what I am putting in my body is part of the cause. 

So we are letting go of some things, DAIRY being the biggest one, the most symptom causing one. Then sugar, meat and for me coffee. Some may call this being vegan, or having a plant based diet. But we are not going to label it, because we are not going to let ourselves be caught up in guilt if we bend the rules. 

I haven't had coffee since Thursday morning. I am doing ok! I have had very little dairy since Friday. We had a big meat feast on Friday night, but since I have only had it twice in small amounts, which is ok to me. We are coming off of these things slowly. 

BUT there are unhealthy vegans, vegetarians and the sort. We are determined to cook better, get closer to our food, understand it. With things like chia seeds, flax, whole grains, grains, nuts, tofu, smoothies, GREEN veggies, natural sweeteners and patience we will have a great diet, a fulfilling energy causing, better feeling diet. I am excited. 

I have created a month of meal plans with this in mind. We are still having one or two meals a week with meat, but the meat won't be the main focus, more a side dish. But we have TONS of exciting recipes to look forward to. 

I am also not big on jumping on a band wagon and throwing out everything of the old life. So we will be using the items in our pantry and when they are gone replacing them with the more natural ingredients. I am planning on stocking up on a few necessary items to make this happen. I am going shopping today and will give you all a sneak peak into the pantry tomorrow! 

This may sound crazy. This may sound drastic. But it has been over a month A MONTH of tingly, weak muscles and constant sickness. This is NOT ok, I am not going to sit here in this any longer, I am taking action. Maybe I needed this to get into gear, to focus on the most important thing, this family's health.

Wish us luck :) 

TODAY: Grocery shopping! I am first hitting the Superstore then Community Natural Foods to fill up on whatever ingredients Superstore does not carry. I am excited. I am doing some baking, some experimenting and some smoothie drinking. YAY project health! 

oh parenting

When something is constantly trying your patience, these aggravating tingles, it doesn't leave much patience left for anything else. 

I have a little mantra, breathe in patience, breathe out love, that I like to say to myself. But not even this is coming to mind in those tense moments. 

Ayla has blossomed into a little toddler. Though she may not toddle, she is not really a baby anymore. She has a fierce amount of personality. And sweetly is always popping by for a head nuzzle (lies her little face on you and smiles). Her stubborn attitude gets to me, her DEMANDS to see what I am cooking, to be independent but held, her insatiable need for everything electronic. BAH this kid can drive me crazy. 

Ivy is tremendous. She hardly ever gives us attitude, she just makes some bad choices every once and a while. She is so polite and sweet. When she is being grumpy or moody it is just because I am not engaging her enough, because my nose is in a book, hands are in the kitchen or my feet are moving a vacuum. But she handles it all well enough. Sharing she could improve on, but I get it, she is really attached to her things. 

Both my girls are wonderful. They keep me busy and bring unimaginable joy to my life. March, and all it has thrown at us, had not been a good parenting month. 

April with its showers and flowers will hopefully bring patience too. I need to focus on getting balanced inside so that patience comes more naturally. I don't know how I am going to do that, be balanced, but I am certainly going to try. Because, THEY are worth it. Even at their spiciest. 

Haha it's months like these I question my hearts desire for more children! 

 

TODAY: Visit to moms house this morning. Then more cleaning! I tackled a lot yesterday, but more needs accomplishing. I also am starting up yoga today, I promise body, some stretching of body and mind! 

oh wow, that was a weekend

Yes, yes it was. 

Lets just start with Friday morning. Waking up feeling gross and realizing that I am indeed, once AGAIN sick. 

The sickness takes on a strange shape, I have the normal head cold stuff, sore ears, throat, head and running nose, sneezing etc. But my limbs, from my shoulders to my fingers and below my knees to my toes are numb and tingly. It is always there but sometimes will increase in intensity and cover my whole body, face, back, lips everything. I am tired and feeling like my limbs will float away on me. It is weird. 

I go upstairs to get the kids dressed. That's when I step in the puddle. 

There in Ayla's room is a very tiny, sticky, puddle. It smells very sweet, like..........oh no. 

Tylenol. 

On Ayla's little table I left a big bottle of tylenol, because Ayla was teething the night before. Ivy and Ayla had been playing upstairs while I was dying on the couch. The bottle is empty. 

I call poison control. We talk it all out for like 20 mins. A child Ivy's size would have to drink 80ml or more for them to worry about overdose. The bottle is 100ml. Ayla would have to have 60ml or more. Looking at the spill, the stickiness all over Ivy's shirt and the fact that it was not a new bottle, we think we are ok. 

I tell Keith, he calls poison control back just to make sure of the math. 

Basically there is no signs of overdose. Tylenol does not present with any symptoms, no tiredness, no aches, no nothing until 24 hours later when they start puking and puking and THEN it could have caused fatal liver damage. AWESOME. 

So we just keep a careful eye on them, looking for signs of vomiting or stomach pain. 

And that's when Keith carrying Ayla up the stairs trips and sadly kinda throws Ayla onto the ground. He did try to catch her! BUT she ends up smashing her head against the hardwood and the wall. 

We both watch her head while she is FREAKING out to see if the head injury is concave or just a bump. I worry as it doesn't seem to want to pop out, but has blackened right away. She calms down and then it pops out....thank heavens. We have learned from previous head injury trips to the hospital that doctors are only concerned when the injury is concave or really mushy. Her bump is out and hard and the kid probably has half a bottle of tylenol in her SOO she should be fine. 

This is all like Friday morning. 

Things are awesome. 

By the afternoon I am so sick I can't function. We call Keith's dad in to come watch the kids so I can nap. My limbs are freaking out and I just want to sleep forever. 

I sleep a while. We struggle through Friday night. Saturday morning comes and everything is just worse. Keith does EVERYTHING. 

The kids are fine we notice. NO vomiting or stomach pain. YAY. I lay down and Keith does the laundry, cleans the kitchen, feeds us, plays with the kids and cleans more. He takes them for a 2 hour walk so I can rest and read (the hunger games trilogy OH MY GOD, it is good, almost done all 3 books and its been like a few days). We all grumble through Saturday. Keith puts the kids to bed and me as well. 

Sunday Keith is playing guitar at church for the first time in like forever, but I am still too sick to go. He leaves and I take the troop to my parents house. They look after me and my kids all day, my sister comes over to and I am able to nap and not worry about the monkey's. 

My limbs are still sucking out. I call health link, a 24 hour line with nurses to help you out. They are concerned (they always are) and tell me to get to emerg. But this is lame and I don't want to wait for 3 hours to be told, yup you have a cold. So I tell myself I will go Monday morning. I suffer through the rest of Sunday with the help of loved ones. Keith gets the day off to just relax and rest himself. We all go to sleep Sunday and we are now here this morning. 

I still feel numby limbed. 

I drag my zombi self downstairs and hear a SPLASH upstairs. it doesn't take long to click, Ivy has a small potty in her bedroom to pee in at night. The rule is she tells me when she uses it so I CAN DUMP IT. I guess she didn't want to bring me back upstairs and tried to empty it herself. 

Pee and poo (not just hard little logs, but mushy, gooey, ingrained into the carpet poo) all OVER the upstairs hallway. 

YUCK

I spend a good chuck of time scrubbing it out and do the tylenol spills in Ayla's room as well. But it still smells like a outhouse up there. 

I called the Dr this morning. My limbs are still tingling and so is my face. I hope to get in this morning. 

Yay weekending! How was yours? 

Ivy says

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* That baby Glitter is in her tummy. But then she also says baby Glitter is in heaven, I miss him. Me too. 

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* She dreamed last night Tissue was left at the zoo. He was with the red pandas and had fun there. 

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* That when she grows up she will be the mommy and I will be her baby. I try to say I will be the Grandma, but she is pretty sure I will be the baby. 

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* She is either playing baby and mommy, going to the Dr, the grocery store or school. OR she is playing princess and addressing everyone by your majesty.

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* If I put the slightest effort into my appearance she will be the first to run up to me, say AHHH mommy you are so beautiful, like a princess. 

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* She sometimes tries to convince Ayla to be her baby, she even got a group of friends in on the game! Ayla unfortunately is not usually into it. 

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* Ivy impresses me with her mad skills. She LOVES her media board and got the concept instantly. Not only do we watch way less tv, she hardly ever fills the board! She is learning to delay her gratification which is amazing to see. 

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* She also lectured her dad this morning on hurting the planets feelings by using the toilet paper! hee hee opps! Maybe need to take that lesson down a notch, SOME toilet paper, after all, is necessary :) 

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* BASICALLY she rocks my world. The things she says brings smiles and laughs to us all the time. Her personality and character are stunning. She is a gem, my treasure. 

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TODAY: No plans! HMMM adventure awaits us perhaps....a drive to some far off place? it has to be a free adventure, but that only gets the brain working! Excited :) Watch the instagram feed today to see what kinda shenanigans we get into!