Urban Green Farm

the importance of me

I know you are sick of it, but wow yoga. 

The reason I need yoga and do it every week is for what it does for me. 

It forces me to leave everything else behind. To go to a place to focus solely on me and my well being. I breathe into the tight sore spots of my body, using and stretching all kinds of muscles. I also tune into myself, letting what ever emotion that needs surfacing to surface and we are taught not to judge the emotion that comes up. To just be with it and toss it away if we need to or think deeper about it. It feels so good to do this! To connect with myself. 

This connection gives me soo much patience. It lasts for about 4-5 days. I think I receive so much patience because it is one of the thoughts I process and deal with a lot and I think my lack of patience is what gives my body so much tension and aches. 

The heat and dim lights help achieve all this as well. The heat makes you more aware of your body and heat is always good to release tension, stress and the built up stuff in your pores. The dim lights encourages you to only focus on you and not notice your neighbours (there can be 50 people in a class and you can not even notice). 

It's just an ideal environment for me. Worth the 25 minute drive, the $18 a class. The 3 hours I get to myself (driving, class and shower time). This small amount of time recharges my batteries and helps me be a better me. 

I need to get better at practicing yoga at home, then I can refill my bucket more frequently. 

Me time is so important, so necessary in being a good mom, wife, friend, human. I wish I had more adequate words to describe just how powerful this is for me. Walking out of the studio and to my car I almost feel like I am floating. A fresh me waiting to face the week ahead. 

What do you do for me time? Any secrets? 

TODAY: It promises to be a nice, nice day, although the grey skies are confusing me. If it is anything like yesterday then there will be lots of moments spent in the sun, soaking up vitamin D and letting the kids run free. 

full

As you can see a busy, full weekend. 

A baby group's 3rd birthday celebration. Keith's sisters 30th birthday party. Mothers Day brunch. Gazebo building. 

The weekend would have been better if I didn't get my period and some cramps along with it and if Ayla didn't have 2 weeks of miserable behaviour, diarrhea and sickness with every single tooth she gets. 

But it was, what it was. And even through the grumps I can see I have a lot to me grateful for. I have a husband who cares and made sure I was looked after all day yesterday. I have 2 beautiful girls, who light up my life and fill me with so much love. I have a wonderful house to throw a party at! And now we have SHADE! This south facing backyard gets way too hot, with not a drop of shade. So we hope to make a lot of use out of that gazebo this summer. 

Being a mother is no easy job, but with every frustrating, difficult moment, comes amazing joys and wonders. I am blessed beyond belief to have these littles in my life, I wouldn't trade a second. I am truly grateful and honoured to be a mom. 

TODAY: Grocery shopping and laundry. We are in for a lonely week. My mom starts work today, which is great for her, sad for me! Keith is at a conference all week and then off to a bachelor party in BC this weekend. Boo. Luckily I am so grateful being a mom, because I have some work cut out for me. 

summer

Hey where is everyone? Haven't heard from some of you in a while. Everyone ok!? 

We had such a good day yesterday. We didn't step inside from 9 - 3:30. It was wonderful. There was wagon rides, sunscreen, hats, parks, side walk chalk, picnics, buckets, shovels and balls. 

Summer we embrace you :) 

Although I wanted Glitter more then anything, it will be nice to be just me this summer. No babe inside, no babe on the breast. Just me. I have a feeling this will be the best summer yet, actually getting to enjoy all the outdoors brings WITH my kids. 

We have 2 road trips planned this summer. One to Manitoba in the middle of July then one to Victoria at the end of July! CRAZY. And it looks like we will be getting a tent trailer for a super deal from a awesome friend so that means CAMPING! YUPEEEEE. No more tent nightmares for us. I can't tell you how excited this makes me. Ohh how we wanted to camp last summer and oh how we tried and failed. Not this year! Ivy is already excited about the fold up house, that's what I am calling it for her. 

Summer is going to be full. I hope yours is to! Talk to me friends, what plans do you have? How do you make the most of summer with kidlets? 

TODAY: Hanging out with a new baby, always a good day! And probably some more outside adventures. 

updates

*** Ayla walks. This happened sometime in April, where she stopped just taking little steps here and there and started full out walking. It's awesome. She can get where and what she wants so much easier. Outside is better because she does not have to crawl over itchy grass. YAY baby! 

*** Counselling, we have had 3 sessions. I seem to be hogging them with my issues, but Keith gets the next one to talk :) It is hard to say what exact proof we have that this is working, but I know it is. I guess I am just learning to communicate better and how to let go of some things, because even if I could fix it all would it really make a huge difference? Most likely no. I know this is general and annoying, but getting into all the nitty gritty details would take forever and ya a little personal! 

*** Meals. We have been eating great! Almost all the recipes I have tried out I really enjoy. I know I feel more energized. When I do eat meat, or have real cheese my stomach gets really heavy and hard! Not fun. So I don't eat those things often. I really really think the project health smoothies are keeping me healthy and cold free! Which is awesome, because they taste good and make me feel awesome. 

Recipe:

1 cup frozen berries (I use PC organic power berry blend) 

1/2 cup wild canadian blueberries 

4 stems kale 

1/2 banana 

2 tbsp honey 

1 cup orange juice 

1 cup steeped green tea 

2 tbsp chia seeds 

2 tbsp hemp hearts  

2 tbsp flax seeds 

Blend it up and drink down the good! 

*** Tingles. I am not sure if from eating better, exercising more, or not being as stressed, but the tingles have lessened. I have to stop and think about them to feel them and the muscle weakness has gone away completely. I have not heard the results from the MRI over 2 weeks ago, so I am assuming things are good there! 

*** Cash system. AHHH we are dropping the ball here. It is so hard to remember grabbing cash! We haven't even got the cash out for May yet! I know this system would work, we have to freeze our credit cards and debit cards I think! ahh too drastic :) I know cash forces me to be more conscious of my spending, so I really need to try harder. 

*** Baby # 3. Ohh babies. We still have taken a break on trying. We really want to get the most out of counselling and focus on us. But I am feeling we are close to being done with counselling. Now I have to settle some heart stuff. I really really want to adopt, and the more I think about it the more I want to do it now! So there is some big talks, prayers and thinking in this families future. 

*** Goal for May. I am trying to get this body at its prime! (another reason to avoid another pregnancy and wine of course) We have been biking LOTS which is awesome and I can feel my muscles growing with each ride. I will be going to yoga once a week and trying to do yoga at home every other day. I also do a lot of walking and house cleaning, both are a great workout! So I plan on being in shape this summer. 

TODAY: Possible playdate, if not outside day! Tonight I have a date with a girlfriend to see a movie, The Hunger Games! YAY!! I read the books so fast but haven't had a chance to see the movie yet. Should be a great day. 

feeling me

After a great weekend and some excellent hot yoga I am feeling very good, very me. 

I know there is no secret formula, no perfect tool to keep one happy. It is finding it within yourself, it is being satisfied with what you have and not constantly wanting more. But this is not easy and having some simple things help you, to keep you focused on those blessings is important. 

I have many resources, friends, family, church, biking, yoga all to keep me focused on what matters, on the joys of my life. I don't know why I get lost, get distracted and removed from myself. I don't know why it is so easy for me to forget my blessings. Probably because I am human, probably because I get feeling sorry for myself and believe I need more to be satisfied. 

A good weekend packed with all my reminders of the goodness in my life just shows how truly fortunate I am. 

Being surrounded by so many blessings makes finding one to focus on a easy task. I hope the next time the sky is grey, my mood is off, I get frustrated that I will remember any number of these things. 

TODAY: I am filled with gratitude for the things in my life. Making a habit to keep them in the forefront of my mind. Also plan on enjoying this weather and my family. I LOVE LIFE! You? what's making you filled with gratitude today? 

fears

I experienced 2 major fears yesterday. I am happy to report BOTH are over. 

I can breathe a sigh of relief with the election results. Although I am not a huge PC fan, I would MUCH MUCH rather them in power then the Wildrose Party. I was actually quite terrified of what would happen to this province if the Wildrose won and I was feeling helpless. I was hoping to see Liberals, NDP or even the Evergreen party win! But I kinda knew that was not going to happen :) Maybe in 4 years! 

The second fear I conquered, sort of, was the MRI. I knew I wasn't a big fan of small spaces, but that was WAY TOO MUCH. They strapped me down to the board, with a crazy head mask on and then slide me into the tiny tube. I couldn't move, could barely see out and was kinda freaking inside! I did breathing exercises, thinking about ANYTHING else, just trying to take my mind out of the situation. But with the intense LOUD sounds that radiate through the machine and your head it is hard to forget you are there. 

I moved too much during the first procedure. I kept swallowing, because I have to when I am nervous. So they had to repeat a bunch of the first pictures. I took about 35mins for the first round! Then I was slide back out and they had to inject dye into my system. They had to poke me 3 TIMES to find a vein. So now both my arms and hands are sore and I have to GO BACK IN. I was seriously near panic. I almost couldn't go back in there. 

The second round was shorter. It only took 15 minutes. I was SO relived to get out of there. I hope I never have to repeat that. 

I get the results in about a week. Maybe even this week. Now I wait. 

TODAY: So after a day full of fear I am relaxing today! Grocery shopping, some last minute birthday supply gathering and LAUNDRY. 

some stolen peace

I must apologize to you all. I unintentionally caused some alarm with my mysterious disappearance right after having a mysterious Dr appointment. They had nothing to do with each other, but you did not know that. Thank you for all your calls, texts, e-mails, comments and messages. I am OK! 

The Dr appointment was to tell me a nodule still exists on my thyroid. I am being sent to a specialist, again, to possibly get a biopsy on the nodule, since it has existed unchanged now for 3 years! 

The reason for the trip was that Keith has been working a CRAZY amount of time, like crazy. So he needed a break, the kids needed some quality parent time and I was seeking just some mountain peace. 

The trip provided for all. I was a awesome mom, not having to worry about a house or cooking I was available all the time. We had no computer so Keith was present with us the whole time. It rained the 2 1/2 days we were there, but we still hiked everyday and still explored the lovely town. It was a tremendous time. A real stress reliever. So much so that I realized I had not experienced the muscle weakness that comes with these tingles in a week! Something I am doing is working. 

This new diet, the yoga, the counselling, the trying to be a patient, kind human/mother/wife has done it's work and I am feeling better everyday. I have to think about the tingles to feel them and I will admit in stressful moments they come on stronger. So this all may be more related to stress then I thought. 

Still getting the MRI on the 23rd to be safe, but I am confident this sickness is in my control. 

I can tell you eating healthy (we tried our hardest in Canmore and I feel we did really well) and doing yoga as much as I can have already changed the person I am. I have more patience and energy then ever in my life and I hope it sticks! I feel like the optimistic girl I once was. I like her. 

I wish I could be filling this post with the breath taking pictures we captured during our time away, but sadly, oh very sadly I can't. Our camera, my beautiful Canon Rebel SLR camera was stolen from our van, in our DRIVEWAY 2 nights ago. I can't tell you how upset this makes me. This camera was very much apart of me, always near to take photos of this wonderful life. I am heartbroken. Heartbroken that it was stolen and that once AGAIN our space has been violated, we lost a security we had in this community and it is disappointing and frustrating. 

Ivy's birthday is very soon approaching, I NEED a camera for this day. We are going to search Kijiji to find a bargain, but we have no money for this. BLAH just a frustrating thing. 

So peek at the instagram feed for a picture fill. Sadly all the pics will be there for the next while, I will try to take some with my phone camera to upload on here, because this space is not the same without colourful photos to cover its pages. 

TODAY: Calling the police about the report I made and the insurance company. Grocery shopping for another week of fun filled, healthy meals! 

in the plans

Happy Easter everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend if you celebrated or not :) 

 

Easter was a celebration for us! For many reasons. The obvious chocolate feast one, the religious significance of this time AND the last weekend of unhealth. 

We are embarking on a change. Again. 

After some research, a friends inspiring visit and more research, documentary watching and blog reading we are now focusing on DIET to make some health changes. 

I am SICK of these tingles, of constantly having a cold, of not feeling HEALTHY! What I have read has lead me to believe what I am putting in my body is part of the cause. 

So we are letting go of some things, DAIRY being the biggest one, the most symptom causing one. Then sugar, meat and for me coffee. Some may call this being vegan, or having a plant based diet. But we are not going to label it, because we are not going to let ourselves be caught up in guilt if we bend the rules. 

I haven't had coffee since Thursday morning. I am doing ok! I have had very little dairy since Friday. We had a big meat feast on Friday night, but since I have only had it twice in small amounts, which is ok to me. We are coming off of these things slowly. 

BUT there are unhealthy vegans, vegetarians and the sort. We are determined to cook better, get closer to our food, understand it. With things like chia seeds, flax, whole grains, grains, nuts, tofu, smoothies, GREEN veggies, natural sweeteners and patience we will have a great diet, a fulfilling energy causing, better feeling diet. I am excited. 

I have created a month of meal plans with this in mind. We are still having one or two meals a week with meat, but the meat won't be the main focus, more a side dish. But we have TONS of exciting recipes to look forward to. 

I am also not big on jumping on a band wagon and throwing out everything of the old life. So we will be using the items in our pantry and when they are gone replacing them with the more natural ingredients. I am planning on stocking up on a few necessary items to make this happen. I am going shopping today and will give you all a sneak peak into the pantry tomorrow! 

This may sound crazy. This may sound drastic. But it has been over a month A MONTH of tingly, weak muscles and constant sickness. This is NOT ok, I am not going to sit here in this any longer, I am taking action. Maybe I needed this to get into gear, to focus on the most important thing, this family's health.

Wish us luck :) 

TODAY: Grocery shopping! I am first hitting the Superstore then Community Natural Foods to fill up on whatever ingredients Superstore does not carry. I am excited. I am doing some baking, some experimenting and some smoothie drinking. YAY project health! 

smile

I googled some things in a moment of boredom yesterday. 

How to be happier? How to be stress free? How to be healthier? 

I know google is not the best place for answers sometimes, but there are those searches that do help, in their own ways. 

I may not have found concrete, specific, life changing answers with those searches, but I did learn something. 

I have A LOT going for me. I am making some really awesome decisions. I AM on a journey to happiness. 

A recap of the random sites I read say, 

- live in the nows (hello! we all know how crazy hard I am making this my mission, IT IS TATTOOED ON MY BODY!) 

- have a positive reflection item, statement, thing to look at whenever you need a positive thought (umm, I think I just mentioned this, TATTOOED ON MY BODY!) 

- doing something good for your body (I have been walking everyday, I have always been good at walks, and now with yoga my body is feeling pretty darn good) 

- taking time to meditate/pray/think of nothing (yoga is AWESOME at teaching me this, thinking of nothing, letting my brain be void of thought, so nice. I also am the praying type, but need to concentrate on FOCUSING more during prayer) 

- eat healthier (eliminating fast food has been an excellent choice for our family, I have not been perfect, I have had Starbucks at least 3 times, fast food twice and dairy queen ice cream a few times as well! But I am working on it and even though lent is finished this weekend, I think this is a habit our family is going to stick to. Also my project health smoothies are just so jam packed with goodness!)

- take time to be alone, doing things that bring joy (I am not so good at this one lately. I am so tired at the end of the day that crafting, or sewing are hard. But again yoga is also good for this one, but it is a area I will work on) 

- READ, yes reading is supposed to be an excellent way to relieve stress and bring happiness. I am defiantly rocking the pants off this one. 

- being with people you love. Not ones that drain you, but ones that bring something to your life, that help you (I am BEYOND blessed in this area. With at least 5 friends I consider family, with GOBS of family near by, with neighbours and dear peeps all over I get to hang out with. AND YOU, readers, friends, awesome people keeping me going!) 

- ending each day with positive thoughts, beginning each day with positive thoughts. Like this. Need this. 

- taking those stressful moments and turning them to positives. Stuck in traffic, take time to meditate. In the grocery line, take time to think of all the things that bring you joy. Screaming at your kids, walk away and think of all those beautiful qualities that make them special. 

- lastly being GRATEFUL. Always, as much as you can, concentrate on the things you HAVE that blow your mind, that make you cry with joy, that you have been blessed with and made responsible for. Focus on the HAVES not the WANTS. 

Simple things, but listing them is a nice way to see all that I am doing right and a couple areas I can work on. My yoga instructor said "The journey to happiness is not one choice, but many small choices." 

What choice to happiness are you making today? 

TODAY: Finish off the laundry, with a smile on my face and a focus on the blessing that I HAVE clothes to wash. Walk in the snow. Sipping my ice coffee, because yes I ran out of coffee, but yay for sweet tasty ice coffee :) Being attached to instagram today, watch out! (Guess what android users you can sign up for instagram too now!! SO GET ON THERE! Please.) 

yoga

Wow. What an incredible experience. 

Hot yoga was truly a fantastic, enlightening experience. 

I have never done yoga in a actual class, always doing it at home. WHY!?!

I am the sort of person who believes environment enhances a experience. In a eloquently designed restaurant the food tastes better, in a well decorated house the sense of home is more natural, in a soft, calm spa a massage feels better. In a candle lite (well those modern light fixtures that look like soft candles) lemon grass smelling, warm coloured yoga studio, with gentle almost spiritual music playing the yoga was better. 

And doing it with others was also amazing! I had people to look at to make sure I was doing the poses right and when we were instructed to make AH OO and EE sounds it was like a monk choir chanting, it was incredible! 

The hot part was also fantastic. I was worried it would be too hot, or my asthma would act up. But with the deep, intentional breathing yoga requires you to do my asthma was at its best! The sweat dripped and soaked me and I felt like I was using my body in ways that were challenging, but my body craved and enjoyed the movements. 

The instructor was phenomenal. His voice soothing and easy to listen too. Allow I got my right and lefts confused more then I care to admit, he was still patient with us newbies! He got us to smile, many times, through out the class and smiling while doing an insane pose was so amazing! You felt the happy surge through you. 

I know this is not a one night fix all kinda deal. Yoga takes discipline and practice. But I think I am convinced the benefits would be worth every sweat drop and every penny. 

I have a week of unlimited classes that I bought. I am going 2 more times this week. Then I will decide if this is a journey I could take towards healing. Healing of my body and the tingles. Healing of the mind from the moodiness and lack of patience. Healing of the soul learning to BE QUIET and not think. 

Ok I know I think it is sort apparent I am already sold :) 

Mission April Shine continues to impress. 

TODAY: Thyroid ultrasound at 11. Then lunch play date where I get to help a friend pick paint colours! And another friend find a house! Some of my most favorite activities. Yoga again tomorrow at 8! Excited! 

 

(us fine ladies from our girls weekend away! Photo from Lil's camera)